Director’s Blog – Lisa Charlotte Davis
I think because, as a parent, the very thought of what Claire has been through, catches in my throat.
Anyone whose work relates to these subject matters will do an amount of compartmentalising to be able to cope with the repeated focus on distressing behaviours and experiences.
But there are certain moments which knock us for six.
This news reminded me of transcribing the stories of diverse domestic abuse survivors we had gathered for the creation of our Us Too soundscape.
I was listening, typing, listening, typing, listening, typing, listening…
…until I got to the story of a woman whose son had followed in the footsteps of his abusive father and become so dangerous to her and her daughters that, for their safety, she had had to stop his access to their home.
It stopped me in my tracks. I sucked in my breath. I could feel my heart in my throat. In remembering it, I can feel the feeling.
The idea that your relationship with your child, who you love unconditionally, could be so profoundly corroded by the pattern of abuse and control and manipulation established by their other parent.
Here are some of her words:
“I just live alone here with my daughters. The coercive control, the nature of that still has an impact. You can never really escape from that. If there were no children, potentially I could escape from the abuse, but with the children, still having contact, that’s impossible to do. The heart-breaking consequences are what’s happening to my son as a result.”
You can see the unconditional love in her words. Her son is abusing her. But she is heartbroken by what has happened TO him.
That broke my heart.
To then hear her say that she had wanted to share her story with us…
“to use this experience … everything I’ve learnt from what I’ve been through … to help other survivors…”
…broke it a little more.
And so even though the news is pivotal, and Claire is an incredible woman who has used the pain of losing the lives of her beloved children at the hands of their abusive father to help others guard against that fate, it took me a minute.
What an incredible act of courage and strength and love and determination and bravery.
