Director’s Blog – Kate Gorman
So much was shared over the day that it feels like writing about it should be easy.
But it isn’t.
And I was thinking about why it isn’t easy.
I think what it comes down to is that every single person who spoke on the stage that day had something powerful and emotional to say. Something that truly matters to them personally. Something that truly matters for people experiencing domestic abuse and for those who love them. Something that truly matters to our society as a whole (whether we know it or not).
But this wasn’t only true about the people who stood on that stage.
It was true of so many of the people in the room too.
And when you see it like that it is obvious why writing about it is hard – I mean, how can whatever I say do all those people justice?
So, I’m just going to share what I have been thinking about since I was there, rather than trying to sum up what people said.
I am reminded afresh how experiencing domestic abuse is truly horrendous – more than those of us who have not had the experience can possibly imagine, even when we are close to people who have been/are being abused.
Domestic abuse affects so many people beyond the people who are officially classified as the victims and survivors. And these people will suffer too. They will suffer as they watch the pain of a person they love. They will suffer as they sacrifice things themselves in order to help a person they love. In the worst case they will suffer because their loved one is killed by their abuser or takes their own life as a result of the abuse. That pain doesn’t end.
It is hard enough for victims of domestic abuse to access support. It is almost non-existent for family and friends (hence the importance of the WWIN’s Findaway initiative) – and they/we really do need support, both for themselves and so that they can help the person experiencing domestic abuse in the best way they can.
Education about domestic abuse and (un)healthy relationships matters. Not just education in schools, for our young people. But education in its widest sense – education which sees our society being able to recognise what is harmful behaviour and stand up and say it isn’t acceptable. Education which makes abuse unacceptable.
How our systems and institutions treat people experiencing domestic abuse is critical to them being able to escape the abuse. Until we get this right more people will suffer more – and why would you do that to someone who is already suffering deeply.
I don’t have a conclusion – just a lot to think about and feel about.
Thanks to Findaway for the photos.
